Monthly Archives: May 2009

Rejected eHarmony Application

Sorry, I can’t help but laugh at this rejected eHarmony application. It kills me every time…

rejected eharmony application

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The Boston Police

Twitter Classics finds the best of the best, just click around for a while…

tumblr

[classics.tumblr.com]

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google captcha

Some junior programmer and his pals at Google undoubtedly knew people would have to type it, but couldn’t have figured that someone would screen capture it…

google captcha

Submitted by @catchstars

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Snowboard Bumper

If this isn’t the damn craziest thing I’ve ever seen, I don’t know what is. See it, and more wild patents at TotallyAbsurd.com

snowbaord_bumper

Actual Patent Illustration – All Inventions Hold Real USA Patents

Snowboard Bumper
US Patent Issued In 2000

Learning to snowboard can be difficult. The subtle twists and turns necessary to control a snowboard can get lost in the chaos of merely staying upright.Falling down is all part of the learning experience, even for accomplished skiers. So how do you keep from hurting yourself while you’re still in the klutz phase of training?  The Snowboarder Bumper!

This handy device fits most boarders and is worn like a vest, only it’s bigger, much bigger. When you start to fall down the Snowboarder Bumper will keep you upright enough to recover your balance quickly and easily (at least that’s the theory). Tree getting in your way? No problem, you’ll just bounce right off. If you do manage to fall down you may just become the world’s largest living snowball. Helpful hint: don’t forget to remove your bumper before attempting to enter the lodge.

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something to do

kick around jeffbridges.com (that’s right: actor, singer, photographer) for a while and you might find this little brain teaser. It’s not so much joke funny, but I challenge you not to giggle when you can’t do it…

somethingtodo1

[jeffbridges.com]

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ProfQuotes.com

In the mood for some collegiate nostalgia I stumbled upon this silly website, profquotes.com

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“Right now you can hear classes all over the building sucking”

Prof Johnson, English 160
University of Illinois at Chicago, Chicago, Illinois

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Faucet Fail

Damn you FailBlog.org. I love you too much!

fail-owned-faucet-fail

[failblog.org]

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Now You Can Master the Art of Dating — The David Wain Way!

davidwainpencil_jessicamiller_2_052009As a director, comedian, and oversexed Lothario, David Wain has met and romanced many a Hollywood starlet. Perhaps that’s why his show “Wainy Days — in which he plays against type as a bumbling loser at love — is so psychologically complex (and really funny). With the fourth season currently being rolled out on My Damn Channel, we asked David to teach us how to find that special lady.

How to Approach Them
One good idea — if you see a hot woman on the street, whip out your iPod, walk by her, and say, “Sorry I can’t hear what you’re saying, I’m listening to this podcast about how to manage having an over-sized penis.” She’ll probably say something like, “Wow! Hey, want to grab a cup of coffee?” The best move here is to play hard-to-get. Say something like, “Sure — but later.” Now you’ve got her. Just remember to set a specific time and place or you may never see that chick again.

[asylum.com]

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Greatest Film Misquotes

I knew it. The whole time, I knew it and I tried to tell all my friends that they were wrong, but they didn’t believe me. My claim is that, in Star Wars, Darth Vader never said, “Luke, I am your father,” – he never said it, guaranteed. Finally something to prove me right. Check this out, and dozens of others at AMC’s new filmsite.org

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The startling revelation of fatherhood by Darth Vader (David Prowse, voice of James Earl Jones) to Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamill) in Star Wars V: The Empire Strikes Back (1980) was not: “Luke, I am your father”, but: “No. I am your father.” [However, the trilogy’s most famous line was never actually delivered by Vader – on the set, he really said: “Obi-Wan killed your father,” but the line was secretly re-dubbed later.] Luke responds in horror: “No! No! That’s not true. That’s impossible.” [The misquoted line: “Luke, Luke, I am your father” was stated in the film Tommy Boy (1995), by the title character Tommy (Chris Farley) as he goofed off in front of an electric fan.]

Play 1980 clip: The Empire Strikes Back - 1980 (41 KB)

[filmsite.org]

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Does this bandana make me look fat?

From the silly cats at FunnyOrDie.com

u9za3

[@funnyordie]

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xoxo, your landlord

“writes our submitter in Harpers Ferry, West Virginia: A local candidate for county commissioner claimed that he was going to run the county like he runs his businesses.  You know: straight talk, no bullshit, that kind of thing.

So, if you were a Jefferson County voter, what would be your take on the guy based on this sign, from the dumpster area at one of his rental properties? Destined for law-making, right?”

your-landlord

[passiveaggressivenotes.com]

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A Gentleman Considers Rear Entry

The fellas at TheFoggyMonocle don’t take enough credit for their amazing brilliance. Here they are again, in usual form…

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As a creature of instinct, supreme confidence and lethal cunning, it’s rare that a gentleman feels trepidatious. Rarely does he tremble at the gates of the great unknown. As long as he’s given a low ball glass containing the contents of a perfectly mixed cocktail, a gentleman is always prepared to fling himself headfirst into the abyss, knowing full well he’ll land on the soles of his alligator skinned loafers and emerge the wiser, wilder and more experienced man. It’s also important to consider that a gentleman is accustomed to going where he pleases. For a gentleman on the town, the velvet rope is always lifted and the red carpet always rolled out as the general public beckons his jovial company. So on these rare occurrences when a gentleman questions the tug of his tastes and the lust of his loins, it’s vital that he weigh his options and consider the situation with grave severity and a perfectly sound mind. Trust, dear readers, that the gentleman will always make the right decision.

tfm

[thefoggymonocle.com]

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Ceremonial leaving of the housewarming present

“It’s Lovely, I’ll Take It” is a collection of poorly chosen photos from real estate listings. They found this gem, a dog leaving a nice housewarming present on the new owner’s lawn. Get our your checkbooks, guys.

dog

[lovelylisting.com]

 

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T-Shirt for Hairy Chested Men

From the genius that heads up IronicSans.com

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“As the weather gets warmer, smooth-chested guys nationwide will be hanging out shirtless in parks and on beaches. A hairless chest is so trendy these days that it’s practically a fashion accessory. But what’s a guy with a hairy chest supposed to do? How can he incorporate his hairy chest in his own fashion?

Well, that’s why I’ve come up with T-Shirts for Hairy-Chested Men, with strategic cutouts that allow your hairy chest to show through. They could feature portraits of famous curly-haired celebrities like Jimi Hendrix, Bob Dylan, and Harpo Marx (for blondes). At last, the Hairy-Chested Man can finally showcase his own natural chest hair with style.”

hairytee

[ironicsans.com]

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Mom, Dad and Facebook: A Dangerous Combo

The team at postcardsfromyomomma.com dish up some pretty hilarious captured conversations and notes from mom.

postcards

[postcardsfromyomomma.com]

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