TEHRAN, Iran (Global Press) Today at the National Museum of Iran a priceless vase dating back to the Sassanian Dynasty was destroyed by an 8 year old boy. When authorities were alerted by a very angry curator, young Amir Abbassi made his confession. “It was the United States, they made me do it,” he admitted. According to the lead officer on duty, the boy was then thanked for his honesty and an apology was issued by the curator for falsely accusing the boy. The curator spoke to the press. “It is not surprising that the United States is behind this atrocity. They continue to attack our youth; our history.”
Authorities are investigating rumors that twitter may have been involved. Marzieh Abbassi, the Grandmother of Amir who had accompanied him to the museum was also interviewed. “This is not the first assault on our family by the United States. Earlier this week I made a Baklava for dessert and the United States ate it all while I was doing laundry.”
These reports quickly made their way to President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. He addressed a small crowd outside his palace. “Once again our country has fallen victim to the foreign enemy.” When asked about the recent violence against protestors, Ahmadinejad said, “Obviously, this is a case where the United States is completely responsible.” The western world has infected our society with its ideology. Ahmadinejad demanded that Barack Obama issue an apology immediately for the loss of the vase and for a sand storm that occurred last week.