Help Me, Help you!


So, I’m out to dinner with my old lady last night. We went to our favorite neighborhood bar, Tiny Lounge. On the window before entering was a sign that said, “Mona Vie Tasting Party.” Alright, free wine, I thought to myself. What ended up happening is this…

We sit down at a table because the bar was full. Soon as our drinks came some some jag wearing tommy bahama and teva’s came over and sat next to us. He said, “you guys here for the tasting?” “No,” I replied. “Well, let me get you guys a taste. Do you guys know what Mona Vie is?” Oh Jesus, here we go. The man then knocks on our table and says, “you hear that…that’s opportunity. Just two ounces in the morning and two before bed and you’ll feel like new people!” Oh fuck, this guy is trying to rope me into a pyramid scheme. “Hey, lemme ask you this, do you tell people about this restaurant?” What’s happening here, I should fucking strangle him. “It’s that easy, you tell a friend, they tell their friends, before you know it, you’re a black diamond.” (a black diamond is a top seller of product) As this asshole is laying his game down, there is a presentation going on about the Mona Vie. Some broad is going on about her autistic kids loving the fucking juice and not terrorizing the house anymore. God bless the juice, she says.

One thing led to another, and now I’m pleased to announce that I will be providing my regional zone with the best juice money can buy. Let me just start by saying this, NO, this is not a pyramid scheme. This is a one time only business op, OK. This is the fastest growing market in the world. Berries from fucking Brazil are in this juice, fucking Brazil. Exotic berries. NO, you can’t just get this at whole foods either. You gotta get it from me. One bottle is only 40 Dollars. Peanuts. So how bout this, I’ll just put you down for 6 cases to start, cool? Perfect. Now you give out “samples” to your friends and watch the juice bring in money like a hot teenage virgin at a pussy auction. Now, I’m only gonna be in your area for the next 12 hours, so If you want to get in on this gold, call me asap.

I will also say this; since taking the juice, I have felt better than i’ve ever felt, ever. Ok. It’s like god put this juice into my body and it took over with positive results. Cool, so I got you down for 7 cases to start. Here is a link to some helpful info about our monthly meetings in your regional zone. Mona vie.

Also, here is a quick list of people on this amazing juice. That chick from dancing with the stars, the black guy from fresh prince, a blues guitarist, oprah, retarded kids, jesus. Pretty cool, right?

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