LIVEBLOGGING REWATCHING JOAN OSBORN’S 1996 VIDEO FOR “ONE OF US” AFTER NOT HAVING SEEN IT FOR ABOUT 13 YEARS.

I’m a huge fan of Ned Hepburn’s blog Boner Party, and all of you should be too.

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0:01-0:15 – what the fuck is that?

0:39 – OH FUCK. THOSE DRUMS, DUDE. that sound means you KNOW you’re in business.

0:47 – oh damn. thats the nose ring. dude i totally had a mad boner for this back in the day. it was like I JUST WANT TO BE UNDERSTOOD, MAN. the 90’s were so fucking angsty. jesus. what did we have to be angsty about? we just got through 8 years of Bush and the best we could do was that sheep voiced dude from nebraska that just ended up dating Winona Ryder anyway.

0:57 – I’VE ABANDONED MY BOY.

1:10 – what IF god was one of us, Joan? fuck. you’ve got me all thinking about deep shit. totally harshing my buzz, dude.

1:31 – i totally had a crush on this chick on this visit to Sacramento back in the day who i totally thought looked like joan osborne because she had curly hair and a nose ring. if there just happens to be a girl out there reading this who remembers this fat kid from the bay area with a bowl haircut asking her what her name is you should totally step forward.

1:49 – oh i get it. theres a concept to this video. huh. fancy that.

2:05 – i bet that chick in Sacramento still has that nosering. nose rings are fucking heinous.

2:30 – damn she really means it.

2:32 – get it girl. shit. this is some good weed.

2:40 – wolfing some cookies.

2:54 – have you ever actually talked to someone on the bus? like a big city bus? if god was one of those people someone should ask god why he wont turn his nextel speakerphone off on his phone while rides public transit. theres always that one dude. that one fucking guy.

3:15 – i’d still totally do her in this video. that shit is hot. i’m sorry. when the 20 year retro cycle comes back around on 1996 i’m going to be well ahead of the curve and already be “totally into electronica” and “dating babes who do yoga and go to slam poetry events”.

3:28 – LISTEN TO THIS FUCKING GUITAR SOLO. THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT THE 90’s SOUNDED LIKE.

3:50 – motherfucking break down right here. this is where a rapper would say something like “yeah dats right” or “uhhh”. white people can’t do that. we’re really bad at that sort of thing.

4:27 – sorry i’ve been singing along for this whole time. this song has so much feeling it makes my feelings feel feelings.

4:44 – and so it ends. i want that song to go on forever. what a fucking jam. that shit makes me want to drive a stickshift and wear polo shirts.

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