Never mind, just go back to beating your wife.

Never mind, just go back to beating your wife.

This was the cool thing to find this week – Walmart selling caskets online. A few people sent these in, but Jessica Z. was first so she get’s the credit.
First, it seems everyone has some sort of opinion about this, that’s great. This should not be the first time that Walmart has shocked you. Walmart is the largest retailer in the world and will sell anything it can. I fully expect them to start selling real estate, insurance, human organs, and brides within the year.
Second, Costco has been selling caskets for over a year already. Their website has a menu button called “Funeral”
Sorry to be such a dickbag, I’ve got a nasty cold…
P.S. – I love how the most of these are “Out of Stock Online” already – someone’s buying them…
P.P.S. – If their website ever stops having technical difficulties, some people have written pretty funny reviews of these.

“Yeah, I’ll take two scoops of chocolate swirl and one scoop of butt….. what the hell?”

[source]

I saw this on tumblrisforfaggots. I’m a bit of a history buff, so I had to put this up.
Jeez, look at how pissed this guy is. “Ssshhhhh, ssshhhhhh Mary, no talking. The smell of your neck gives me a soft-on but your constant jabber jaw is a real boner killer.”
[source]
Have you been to whitewhine.com? It’s brilliant!
There’s never enough bicycle parking at the farmer’s market.
our pizza stone cracked in half while it was in the oven. Lame, we’ve only used it 3 or 4 times.
I can’t watch The Wire without the subtitles turned on…
They’re cheap, effective and incredibly racist! P.S. – We’re not really using “Oriental” anymore…


The was the result of googling gross costumes. Fucked up, huh?

I was searching for a Dr. Zoidburg costume when I found this gem.
OMGod! If you can’t wait to get your hands on these vaginas you can buy the book on amazon.com. Here’s a sample review:
This book entered my life at a time when I was feeling more or less ‘eh’ about my vagina. Like, I’d wake up in the morning, first thought: ‘I’ve got a vagina.’ Next thought: ‘Yeah, so?’ — Not anymore. In my mind, at least, my private parts have progressed from the drab Middle Ages to a Technicolor Age of Aquarius. Let the sunshine in.

P.S. – It looks like there are still two USED coloring books you could save a few bucks on!
Yeah, we're all broke, I know. But if you have a few coins you wanna spare - I'd love to keep this going; it's kinda fun...
Thanks, love ya!
© I Am Hilarious 2010