xoxo, your landlord

“writes our submitter in Harpers Ferry, West Virginia: A local candidate for county commissioner claimed that he was going to run the county like he runs his businesses.  You know: straight talk, no bullshit, that kind of thing.

So, if you were a Jefferson County voter, what would be your take on the guy based on this sign, from the dumpster area at one of his rental properties? Destined for law-making, right?”

your-landlord

[passiveaggressivenotes.com]

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A Gentleman Considers Rear Entry

The fellas at TheFoggyMonocle don’t take enough credit for their amazing brilliance. Here they are again, in usual form…

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As a creature of instinct, supreme confidence and lethal cunning, it’s rare that a gentleman feels trepidatious. Rarely does he tremble at the gates of the great unknown. As long as he’s given a low ball glass containing the contents of a perfectly mixed cocktail, a gentleman is always prepared to fling himself headfirst into the abyss, knowing full well he’ll land on the soles of his alligator skinned loafers and emerge the wiser, wilder and more experienced man. It’s also important to consider that a gentleman is accustomed to going where he pleases. For a gentleman on the town, the velvet rope is always lifted and the red carpet always rolled out as the general public beckons his jovial company. So on these rare occurrences when a gentleman questions the tug of his tastes and the lust of his loins, it’s vital that he weigh his options and consider the situation with grave severity and a perfectly sound mind. Trust, dear readers, that the gentleman will always make the right decision.

tfm

[thefoggymonocle.com]

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Ceremonial leaving of the housewarming present

“It’s Lovely, I’ll Take It” is a collection of poorly chosen photos from real estate listings. They found this gem, a dog leaving a nice housewarming present on the new owner’s lawn. Get our your checkbooks, guys.

dog

[lovelylisting.com]

 

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T-Shirt for Hairy Chested Men

From the genius that heads up IronicSans.com

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“As the weather gets warmer, smooth-chested guys nationwide will be hanging out shirtless in parks and on beaches. A hairless chest is so trendy these days that it’s practically a fashion accessory. But what’s a guy with a hairy chest supposed to do? How can he incorporate his hairy chest in his own fashion?

Well, that’s why I’ve come up with T-Shirts for Hairy-Chested Men, with strategic cutouts that allow your hairy chest to show through. They could feature portraits of famous curly-haired celebrities like Jimi Hendrix, Bob Dylan, and Harpo Marx (for blondes). At last, the Hairy-Chested Man can finally showcase his own natural chest hair with style.”

hairytee

[ironicsans.com]

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Mom, Dad and Facebook: A Dangerous Combo

The team at postcardsfromyomomma.com dish up some pretty hilarious captured conversations and notes from mom.

postcards

[postcardsfromyomomma.com]

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Life-Sized Rubberized Rhinoceroses

burbia

[burbia.com]

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Einstein Says What?

From the genius blog comes this wonderful quote of Albert Einstein…

ae

[einsteinsayswhat.tumblr.com]

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Viceland.com’s DOs and DON’Ts

Tagged as a DON’T, the picture comes straight from Viceland’s Do’s and Don’ts section on fashion…

viceland.com

“Putting flip-flops at the bottom of a 35-year-old muppet raver is like
tossing a counterfeit five on the body of the hooker you just killed.”

[viceland.com] – spotted by @akaemmafrost

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Worst. Idea. Ever.

“If this guy doesn’t break something then there is no Darwin – WTF!?!”

workout

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The First Time I Jerked Off…

playboy

The first time I jerked off I thought I had invented it. No joke. I was convinced I had created what was going to be the most insanely popular thing ever. I didn’t really have any plan of promoting it, but I was instantly convinced that it would make me famous. Everywhere I’d go people would point and say “That’s him. That’s Gus. He’s the reason why your Mother and I aren’t divorced yet.” And I’d smile and wave and shake their hands. I’d get personal calls from world leaders and have parades thrown in my honor. I’d get elected President on the everyone-cool-off-and-meet-back-here-in-a-half-an-hour platform. I’d accept the nobel peace prize and go to sleep each night knowing that, because of me, the world at large was a little more relaxed.

And maybe, now, a little hungry.

[illinoisairship.tumblr.com]

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BackUp Gun Rack

So many valuables in my house and too few barking dogs – how can I get one?

 

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The Euphemism Generator

The Euphemism Generator promises ENDLESS FUN

teg

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Finger Art

This photo shoot makes me smile…

finger

[Finger Art]

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New Netpix Service Sends Unlimited Photographs For Monthly Fee

AHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

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new-netpix-rLOS GATOS, CA “With millions of images to choose from, the new online service Netpix, which allows users to receive up to three pictures at a time for a monthly fee has quickly become the most popular photograph-rental company in the country.

Launched in April, the new service offers a wide array of photos and genres, including pictures of sunsets, images of friends sitting around picnic tables, grisly crime scene photos, the complete works of Ansel Adams, snapshots of Carol and her dog, and recent portraits from Tanya Kohler’s baby shower at the Treehouse restaurant in Manchester, NH.

“It’s so convenient. You get a photo in your mailbox, look at it for a while, and then drop it in the prepaid envelope and send it back,” Houston resident Jonathan Collins said. “I’ll never look at pictures the same way again.”

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Wonderful Financial Opportunity

Just wanted to give you a heads up for this wonderful financial opportunity and potential love connection. I received an email through my hotmail account and am currently too busy to take advantage of this money making guarantee, but I wanted to repost it for anyone who can respond. The whole story is too tragic, and Ms. Wayne could really use your help.

- – - – - – - – - – - – -

Hello, I am sandy wayne from Liberia and I am contacting you because I
need your help in management of some amount that my father left for me
before he died. My father was a very rich man that dealed in Gold but was
poisoned by his business colleagues and they are now after me because am
the only child living so i hard to escape my way into a church here in
Republic of Ghana which am presently in the refugee camp.

Please I want you to stand as my guidian and appointed beneficiary to
enable you receive the money in your country and as well assist me secure
papers that will enable me come over to your country immediately for
continuation of my education and investing of the money according to your
advise since am only 24 years female without mother or father. Please
indicate if your interested in taking me along because my present
condition here is critically frustrating here in the refugee camp.send me
your number in your response to my request so i can give the barrister to
call  because the firm is asking that my beneficiary should get a change
of ownership from the court before the firm will release the consignment.

Waiting your response soonest, God bless you if you will help me get the
change of ownership so that the firm can release the consignment,Send me
your name and number the barrister can call you.

Am waiting.
sandy wayne.
sandywayne24@hotmail.com
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