I was at Jewel-Osco last night purchasing liquor when I attempted to use their “Virtual Bartender,” but it was broken.
I really needed someone at Jewel-Osco to ignore me for 11 minutes while they flirted with the low-cut shirt blonde.
I was looking for someone to at my local grocery store to give me Pepsi when I asked for Coke because they don’t have Coke and they don’t think I’ll be able to tell the difference.
I needed someone to put too much ice into my glass before shorting my pour.
“I’m a good tipper,” I would explain to the Virtual Bartender. Dammit, this is too difficult.